


The Rashomon Set Up

by Katie_Dub



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:01:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26213071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katie_Dub/pseuds/Katie_Dub
Summary: Two would-be lovers, seven friends, one ill-advised set up: but does anyone know what really happened when Emma met Killian?
Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan
Comments: 33
Kudos: 65





	The Rashomon Set Up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Atruthuniversally](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atruthuniversally/gifts).



> Atruthuniversally, it's Motivation Monday and your wonderful comments always make my day (and many other fic writers' too, I know) so I wanted to show my thanks. This fic goes out to you and everyone who has ever commented on my fics, I hope you like it!

It’s Sunday morning and most of the gang are gathered in Granny’s, catching up over Sunday brunch, despite most of them having been out together the night before. A few tables in the middle of the restaurant have been pushed together so there’s room for them all.

David and Snow are doing their best to snuggle together on separate chairs, clearly annoyed that they aren’t sitting in a booth where they could get truly comfortable together. Tink is next to them, one hand discreetly on Belle’s thigh, while they chat with Mulan and Ruby opposite them. Regina and Robin have the misfortune of sitting opposite Snow and David — Regina is making no effort to hide her displeasure and yet Snow is blissfully ignorant, or perhaps blissfully untroubled by her friend’s distaste. There are empty seats at the end of the table, suggesting that more people should be there, but have yet to show their faces.

“How was your anniversary?” Snow asks Ruby and Mulan and both their faces light up at the question.

“Oh it was wonderful,” Ruby enthuses, “but I’ve got to say, I’m more interested in hearing what you all got up to last night. Should I be worried that Emma isn’t here after I know you were trying to get her together with Killian?”

“Not at all!” Snow exclaims, failing to notice the way that Regina’s eyes roll at her. “My plan couldn’t have gone better! What happened was this:”

**14 hours ago: Snow**

Snow was feeling brilliant, enjoying the fact that she had finally, _finally,_ persuaded her sister in law to join them on a night out. She was new to town and Snow was keen to get her into the dating scene, so full of love that she couldn’t imagine anyone wouldn’t want to share her happiness.

And Snow had the perfect candidate: Killian Jones.

Killian was tall, dark, and handsome, not exactly her cup of tea, but he seemed Emma’s type, a slight bad boy demeanour hiding a squishy heart, much like Emma herself. And besides, most of her friends were happily paired off already, she didn’t have much left to work with. Besides Will, and the less said about him, the better.

“I just know that you’re going to love him Emma,” Snow said, already picturing her maid of honour toast on their wedding day.

“I just can’t wait!” Emma grinned, “thank you so much for finding me my happy ending!”

“Of course, Emma, anything for my favourite sister in law,” Snow demurred. 

She looked around the room, noticing Belle alone at a table — Snow would have to find her someone next — and Arthur and Lance both chatting to a pretty brunette who she didn’t know. Then she spotted Killian walk into the room. “Oh look,” she squeezed Emma’s hand eagerly, “there’s your Prince Charming!” she pointed out Killian who was at the bar.

“Oh wow,” Emma said looking nervously over at Killian. “I think I’m going to need a drink if I’m going to meet the man of my dreams.” And abruptly she stalked off to the bar, jitters clearly getting to her.

“You got this!” Snow called to her retreating back, then snuggled back into her own Prince Charming, David. “Oh I hope they like each other.”

“Of course they will, Snow,” and he gave her a kiss that was somehow chaste enough to be acceptable in public and yet made her head spin. Everything David did made her head spin really; people kept warning her that the honeymoon phase wouldn’t last, but a decade on, they were still going strong.

When she finally managed to move away from her husband for long enough to remember that they were there for Emma she quickly looked around for her. It took a few minutes of searching, but then she spotted her, already locking lips with Killian at the bar.

“Oh David, look!” she squealed, delighted at the sight.

“... and my work there was done,” Snow sits back in her seat, the smug smile on her face of one who had a plan come together perfectly.

“Are you serious?” David asks, in utter confusion. “That’s not what happened at all!”

“What?” 

“Well I mean, you’re almost right, Emma was definitely very excited to meet Killian, and went off to the bar, but then:”

**14 hours ago … ish: David**

David loved kissing Snow, her lips were just so soft, _I could get drunk on her kisses alone,_ he thought as he paused for breath in between kisses. 

But then a horrible sight brought him out of his reverie. His sister was stomping away from Killian and over to Belle, where she proceeded to gesture wildly towards his friend — well, he thought the guy was a friend, but if he was going to blow off his sister he’d have to rethink that — looking _pissed._

_Snow’s going to be crushed,_ he realised, and pulled his wife into a major make out session in the hopes that she wouldn’t notice. 

But eventually they both had to breathe.

Panting, he had to take a minute to be able to see straight again after Snow had kissed him senseless.

“Oh David, look!” Snow gasped in horror, pointing towards the bar where Killian was wrapped around a blonde who was — David glanced back over to see if Emma was still talking to Belle — definitely not Emma.

Snow fled from the room, devastated that her plan hadn’t worked.

And David was furious. It was one thing to not like his sister but there was no need for Killian to hurt both her and his wife by flaunting some _other woman_ in their faces. He got to his feet, shaking with anger as he stormed over to Killian.

He grabbed Killian by the arm, yanking him away from — Tink, when were they back on? — and went to punch him, determined to defend his sister. Only that slimy bastard swerved out of the way, grabbed a glass off the bar and threw it right at him. The glass shattered on the floor with an almighty crash.

“Talk about adding injury to insult,” David says, “I’m just glad that Killian decided not to show up this morning, I owe him one for that.”

“You do not know what you’re talking about,” Tink’s voice is dryer than the entire Sahara Desert. David looks over to see her glaring at him.

“Look, I don’t blame you for what happened, but —”

“— but nothing happened!” Tink cuts in, exasperated. “I’m dating Belle!”

Silence falls and all eyes turn to Tink and Belle.

“OK, that is _not_ how I intended to tell you all, but surprise! We’re dating. This is what really happened last night:”

**Less than 14 hours ago: Tink**

Tink was on her way back to Belle from the toilets when her old flame — if you can call an occasional hook up of convenience “a flame” — Killian accosted her.

“My Lady Tink, can I tempt you with a drink?” Killian licked his lips as he spoke, clearly thinking that he looked like — well, he _did_ look like sex, but that didn’t mean she was in any way affected by, or interested in him.

Tink rolled her eyes and looked over to Belle. She was at least talking to Emma and wouldn’t mind being left alone for a little longer. Belle caught her eye over Emma’s shoulder, and gave her a little smile and a nod. It was just a little thing, a way to say she was OK, but it sent a little zing of electricity through her all the same.

“What do you say, love?”

Oh right, Killian.

“We both know that you’re not interested in a drink.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” he said, swaying into her slightly. 

She stepped back. “It is when I’m really not interested,” she said firmly, and he pouted a little, “oh don’t give me that look, there’s a hundred people in here who would fuck you given half a chance.”

“Not sure there’s a hundred women in here,” he said with a laugh.

“There’s plenty of men who’d happily lend a hand I’m sure.”

“Alas if only I played for both teams.”

“It is a lot more fun, my new girlfriend is fantastic.”

“Tink!” Killian gasped, and lightly whacked her on the shoulder, “you could’ve just said that you were seeing someone, instead of letting me act like a dick.”

“Oh but Killian, it’s so much fun to cut you down to size.”

He laughed. “And I’m sure it’s justly deserved. So when do I get to meet her?”

“Well… I’ll let you know when we’re ready to share the news.” Tink tucked her hair behind her ear.

“What’s that?” Killian asked, “You got new ink?”

“Oh yes!” Tink lifted her hair to the side to show Killian the delicate stars she’d had tattooed behind her ear. Killian leaned in to look at it.

“Very nice,” he said approvingly as he drew backwards. “Makes me think I should —”

He was cut off by David yanking him away from her. David launched his fist at Killian, who easily ducked out of the way, so he grabbed a glass off the bar and threw that at Killian. Tink watched in shock, too startled to move.

“Bloody hell!” shouted Killian as he stood surrounded by broken glass, entirely unhurt but stunned all the same.

“At that point Belle came to make sure that I was OK, and I’ll be honest, I lost track of what happened to Killian,” Tink says.

“I cannot believe that you think I’m the one who threw that glass.” David pouts, pride clearly wounded at the thought. “I would _never_ risk hurting a lady.”

“Oh please,” Regina scoffs, “you were so drunk that I’d have been surprised if you could have thrown that glass.”

David looks to Regina, clearly torn between defending himself against the accusations of throwing glasses or being a drunken lout. “It was Killian wasn’t it?” he eventually says, choosing to ignore the part about his drunken state.

**14 hours ago: Regina**

Regina was eyeing the Charmings across the room, where Robin was leaning over collecting glasses. Partly it was because she quite enjoyed the sight of Robin’s ass as he bent over their table, partly it was because she was somewhat alarmed by the way Snow and David were gesturing erratically, clearly already deeply intoxicated at only 8:30pm. _Well,_ she reasoned, _it_ is _their first night out since Leo was born, guess they haven’t had much to drink for a while. God, I hope for their sakes that Ruth is keeping that baby all morning too._

Robin turned around, glasses in hand stacked up along one arm. He drew the other hand across his neck, motioning towards their friends. Time to cut the Charmings off. 

“Can I get some service?” 

Regina turned to see Killian leaning against the bar. “The usual?” she asked and turned to get his rum when he nodded.

When she set his glass down in front of him, she could see Emma had appeared at the bar, and was leaning into Killian with a seductive smile. 

“What fun would that be?” Emma said. Regina had clearly missed the start of this conversation. She wished she were missing this part of it too.

“Just two ships passing in the night then?” Killian waved his hand in the air as he spoke.

“Passing closely I hope.” Emma slid closer to Killian as she spoke.

Regina cleared her throat, looking at Killian for payment. She knew that customers getting amorous and forgetting about her was an occupational hazard for a bartender, but it was tiresome when it was her friends ignoring her in pursuit of sex.

He slapped some bills down on the bar, “and something for the lady,” he said, gesturing to Emma.

“Woodford Reserve, on the rocks.”

Regina studiously ignored them as she poured out a generous measure of the bourbon, then took a deep breath, steeling herself for whatever stage of seduction Emma and Killian had reached. She hoped it was nothing physical. Deep cleaning the bar was a hassle that she wasn’t ready for just this moment.

They were merely stood closely together, but they were giving each other fuck me eyes and she wanted to remind them that she was very much there and that her bar was not the place for a quick fuck.

“Here you go, Emma,” she slammed the drink onto the bar and Killian froze. Regina had no idea he was so jumpy.

“Emma — Swan?” he spoke slowly, looking deeply perturbed. _What was his deal?_ Regina caught sight of Snow, bouncing in excitement, and it hit her that she might be witnessing another classic Snow Set Up Disaster in progress.

“That’s me,” Emma confirmed, mouth drawn into a grim line. She took a drink from her glass then glared at Regina. “Thank you for that, Regina.”

Regina felt a prickle of guilt. She _hated_ feeling guilty, it immediately set off all her defense mechanisms, thinking of all the ways it was totally Emma’s fault for being weird about giving out her name to one night stands — like that’s a mature and reasonable way to act about someone you’re going to let inside you.

“Sorry for ruining your anonyfuck,” she said breezily, “I just didn’t want you getting stains on the bar.”

“I — I need to go.” Killian knocked back the remainder of his rum and stalked away from Emma, leaving both her and Regina gaping.

“Seriously?” Emma said, completely incredulous.

Regina felt a little guilty at that, just because she didn’t want them to defile her bar, didn’t mean she wanted to stop their hook up altogether.

“You’re too good for Captain Guyliner anyway,” Regina said, attempting to sound reassuring. Emma stomped off to talk to Belle so she wasn’t totally sure if she’d managed it.

Arthur came over then to order drinks and she was grateful for the distraction. He ordered an old fashioned — the perfect ritual to clear the residual discomfort from her mind, with the added bonus that she could tell that the lengthy process ever so slightly irritated Arthur, which she took just a little too much pleasure in.

When she was done, and Arthur had sipped his drink, looking begrudgingly delighted by the taste, she noticed that Killian was already onto his next potential conquest of the night: Tink. Now this she had to eavesdrop on. She’d already noticed how close Belle and Tink had been earlier — not enough for her to be sure they were together, but she had her suspicions — and she had to hear how this was going to go down.

Luckily for her they were right by the glass wash station and there was a fresh tray of glasses to set out. She sauntered towards them and began putting things away, moving slowly so she could hear them over the chinking glassware.

“We both know that you’re not interested in a drink,” Tink said, voice oozing with disdain.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Killian was laying it on thick. Regina rolled her eyes. 

“It is when I’m really not interested.” _Excellent,_ Regina laughed internally. “Oh don’t give me that look, there’s a hundred people in here who would fuck you given half a chance.”

“Not sure there’s a hundred women in here.” Killian laughed then. Regina did always admire Killian’s ability to laugh at himself, not that she’d ever share that with him.

“There’s plenty of men who’d happily lend a hand I’m sure.” Regina raised her eyebrows, interested to know whether Killian swung both ways.

“Alas if only I played for both teams.” So he didn’t. He was such a flirt that she thought he’d have aimed his charm at Robin if he did, but she’d never been entirely sure.

“It is a lot more fun, my new girlfriend is fantastic.” _I knew it!_ Regina crowed internally, before a customer called out to her and she had to tear herself away.

The next time she looked over it was to see David stumbling towards Killian, grabbing at him and swinging a wild punch at him. Killian easily ducked out of the way and David fell into the bar, knocking a glass to the floor as he did.

Someone cheered at the sound of the crash.

Regina sighed, it wasn’t the first time that someone smashed a glass in her bar, but it was rare to see David being the one to be so clumsy. As soon as that glass was clear, she was getting him and his wife into a cab. 

She pushed past Robin who was gaping at the scene in shock to get to the cupboard at the end of the bar where the long-handled dustpan and brush were kept and grabbed them, grumbling as she went to the smash zone.

“Regina,” Emma said, “where’s your first aid kit? Killian’s been cut.” Killian was behind her holding onto his hand and wincing.

“Oh, it’s in the staff room in the back.” Regina looked towards the glass, nervous of anyone else hurting themselves if she didn’t clean up soon, but sure she should do her duty as registered first aider and clean him up. “On the shelf, you can’t miss it. Um, are you OK to help him with this?”

“Yeah, I know first aid, you clean up your bar.” She gestured towards Killian. “You come with me.”

“I don’t think I saw them after that,” Regina muses as she finishes her story. “Although I’m a bit surprised she was willing to help him after the way he blew her off.”

“Nice people help those in need,” Snow gasps in judgement. 

Regina merely shrugs. “If you say so. I just feel like I missed something.”

“I can probably help you there,” Belle jumps in. “Emma and I were talking, I may have been … less than kind.”

**Just under 14 hours ago: Belle**

Belle stood nursing a drink and waiting for Tink to come back. She missed her. She realised that sounded impossibly needy when all her girlfriend had done was slip out for a bathroom break, but she missed _touching her._ They were so new that they weren’t quite ready to reveal all to their friends. _And_ they were so new that she just wanted to touch Tink constantly, which wasn’t entirely compatible with maintaining their secrecy in public.

She looked up to see a blonde stomping her way — sadly, the wrong blonde: Emma — and she looked _pissed._

“Not to generalise, but why do men suck?”

“Can’t say I disagree,” said Belle, “but what’s got you all riled up?”

“I started talking to this asshole and one minute he’s all charm, then out of nowhere he just fucks off and leaves!”

“Weird, who was it?”

“The hot one at the bar, dark hair, stubble.”

Robin appeared next to them, scooping up some glasses, Belle smiled at him gratefully before squinting over to the bar. She spotted both Killian and Arthur, either one could potentially fit that description, although Arthur’s foul personality knocked him several rungs down the hotness ladder. Emma must be talking about Arthur.

“I thought he was actually into me, I could have shown him a good time but —” Emma broke off with a shrug. “Fuck him eh? Who needs a dick like that around?” She looked back over her shoulder. “He’s onto Tink now, God help her.”

Belle followed Emma’s line of sight. She briefly caught Tink’s eye and grinned at her girlfriend before remembering she was meant to be checking who she was talking to — Killian. Emma was talking about Killian? 

It was like a fuse had been lit within Belle. She’d spent too many afternoons with Killian crying his heart out after Milah died to accept anyone casually dismissing him. She was deeply offended on Killian’s behalf. Perhaps his behaviour hadn’t been entirely gentlemanly, but Snow had no business trying to force a relationship on him. Just because Emma was into the blind date idea, didn’t mean that Killian had to be. She’d thought Emma was the type to understand if someone wasn’t ready, but apparently not.

“Look, Emma, not everyone is just going to fall at your feet OK?” Belle said, practically shaking with barely contained rage.

Emma’s eyes flew wide open, but she only mumbled “Wow, OK.”

“Killian’s one of the good guys.” Belle could feel herself getting even more fired up at the thought of Emma dismissing Killian as an asshole. Just because he wasn’t interested in some awkward set up, didn’t make him a bad guy. “I’m sorry if you wanted some fairytale happily ever after, but it’s not that long since he lost his girlfriend! He’s just not ready to get back out there yet.”

“Er — what? I didn’t —”

Emma was cut off by the sound of a glass smashing across the room. Arthur cheered at the sound. What a prick.

Looking for the source of the crash, Belle spotted Tink, Killian and David surrounded by glass. She didn’t even stop to think, just ran straight over to see if Tink was OK.

“I’ll be honest,” Belle says, “I lost track of Killian and Emma after that.” She shrugged and took Tink’s hand, kissing it as she smiled at her. “I only had eyes for one blonde.”

“You guys are all idiots,” Robin says, shaking his head.

“Um, excuse me?” Regina arches a brow at her husband and business partner, deeply unimpressed at his words. It takes either a very brave, or slightly suicidal, person to insult Regina Mills.

“Do you all honestly believe that Emma was really into this whole set up idea?”

“Of course she was!” Snow trilled eagerly, “why wouldn’t she be?”

“I’ve got to be honest,” cut in Ruby, “Emma never struck me as the blind date type.” Snow was glaring at her friend and Ruby held up her hands in protest. “I’m not saying that she shouldn’t be with someone, just that she seems to prefer doing her own thing, being independent, I don’t think she’d be into someone pushing a man on her.”

“She definitely wasn’t,” Robin agrees and a chorus of “but”s sounds out around the table. “Half of you were wasted, you really didn’t know what was going on last night. So let me tell you what really happened:”

**14 hours ago: Robin**

“I jush know tha you’re gonna — gonna luuurve him,” Snow slurred, leaning heavily into Emma’s side. David sat beside his wife slowly nodding in agreement, eyes closed.

Robin gave Emma a look of deepest sympathy as he cleared away the impressive number of glasses from in front of his friends. 

“I can’t wait,” Emma deadpanned, “thank you so much for finding me my happy ending." Snow beamed.

Robin found himself wincing with embarrassment at how oblivious her brother and sister in law were. They were delighted with themselves, grinning at Emma as though she’d been talking literally, surely no one could be that oblivious?

“An—an—anyfin for my sishter." Snow hiccoughed then gasped with excitement, grabbing Emma’s arm and squeezing it hard enough to make her wince. “There! He’s there! Your Pince—Pre—Prince Chaaarming!” she shouted into Emma’s ear, forcing her to lean away to protect her eardrums.

It was hard to tell exactly who Snow was referring to, with her arms flailing randomly. Emma too seemed to be struggling to tell who exactly she was being set up with, scrunching up her forehead as he tried to follow Snow’s wobbling hand. Robin was sure that she’d mentioned Killian as a possible date for Emma, but it certainly seemed that she was gesturing madly to Arthur.

_Perhaps,_ Robin thought, _it’s time to call our dear Snow a taxi._ He looked up and caught his wife’s eye across their bar. He pointed at Snow and David and drew a slash across his neck. _Cut them off._ Regina nodded.

“Oh wow,” Emma said, wiping some of Snow’s spit off her cheek. “I think I’m going to need a drink if I’m going to meet the man of my dreams.” And with those world-weary words, Emma all but ran to the bar, desperate to make her getaway.

“You go girl!” Snow’s perhaps most coherent sentence of the conversation was … well, it was a choice.

Robin dumped glasses back at the bar, noticing that Emma was already making a move on Killian. He had to admire her blatant “fuck you” to Snow’s set up. His friend was wonderful and terribly well-meaning, but she wasn’t always the best at acknowledging what other people actually needed and wanted, preferring instead to see everyone’s lives through her own rose-tinted lenses.

He was about to join Regina behind the bar, when he spotted Leroy causing some trouble with his brothers over in one corner of the room. They were harmless enough, but it was usually best to step in before they got each other all riled up.

On his way back to the bar, he noticed that Emma was now chatting to Belle — ouch, guess Killian wasn't interested — and she looked annoyed. As there were a couple of empties on their table he headed over — just to clear up, not to eavesdrop of course. 

“I started talking to this asshole and one minute he’s all charm, then out of nowhere he just fucks off and leaves!” Robin heard Emma say as he got closer to them. 

“Weird, who was it?” Belle asked. 

“The hot one at the bar, dark hair, stubble.”

Robin picked up the glasses, and Belle smiled at him gratefully, a slight glaze to her eyes that showed she was already feeling the impact of her cocktail. She squinted comically over at the bar.

“I thought he was actually into me, I could have shown him a good time —” Emma had a slight suggestive smirk on her face, a little hint at what she’d been planning, that she quickly shrugged off. “But fuck him eh? Who needs a dick like that around?” She looked back over her shoulder and grimaced. “He’s onto Tink now, God help her.”

Belle looked over at the bar again and instantly her expression turned stormy, her whole demeanour changing in a moment. “Look, Emma, not everyone is just going to fall at your feet OK?” she all but shouted.

_Fuck me, that was uncalled for._ Robin gave a sympathetic glance Emma’s way, although she was staring down at her drink, looking every bit as shocked as he felt. He was glad to be able to leave this awkward conversation behind, although he cringed as he heard Emma mumble “wow, OK,” behind him.

Robin decided that he was probably safer behind the bar and out of the way of his friends’ drama. 

He had just settled behind the bar when he watched with horror as another crisis unfolded before him. David stumbled his way over to Killian, swinging wildly at the man, who — luckily for him — was still mostly sober and simply stepped out of his way and David sent a glass flying to the floor instead.

It was a fucking mess.

He stared at the sight for a moment, before a cheer from Arthur — there was always one wanker who had to do that — brought him back to his senses. Regina pushed passed him, shoving him a little harder than was strictly necessary, to go clear up the mess.

Killian put his hand on the bar and yelped. “Bloody hell!” As he moved his hand back sharply, Robin could see the blood on his palm. Shit, glass was on the bar as well as the floor. He better get the first aid kit —

“What the fuck do I have to do to get some service round here?”Leroy growled.

Robin glanced at Killian. He was examining his hand, when Emma appeared at his side. “Are you OK?” she asked “I know first aid.” 

Feeling slightly better that his friend was being tended to, Robin went to serve Leroy.

“Can you get rid of the Charmings?” Regina hissed at him as she slid back behind the bar. “I have no intention of cleaning up any more of their messes tonight.”

“Of course, my dear,” Robin said and headed to the back office. As he passed the staff room he caught sight of Emma on her knees before Killian, tending to his hand.

“Sorry that I just left you before,” Killian said, “it was rude of me. It’s not that I object to _you,_ but I really didn’t want this whole … set-up business.”

Robin stopped, curious to hear what exactly was going on between the pair.

“Yeah, it sucks,” Emma agreed.

“Really? You seemed quite … taken with the idea.”

Emma laughed. “I didn’t realise that you were, well, _you._ Snow was pointing some other guy out to me and you were hotter and also someone I could —” she broke off.

“Could?” Killian prompted with a smirk.

“Oh you know —” she shrugged, blushing “—have fun with, just a one time thing.”

“That would be — fun.” Killian’s voice had turned husky and Robin suddenly became aware of how inappropriate it was to eavesdrop on them — and how pissed Regina would be if he didn’t hurry up and call that taxi. Tearing himself away from them, he headed onto the office.

“So… you see? Emma _wasn’t_ interested in your set up! She was after a one —”

“Lalalala,” David interrupts Robin, fingers shoved into his ears, “I am not hearing about my sister’s sex life. Nope.”

Regina rolls her eyes.

“So what happened next?” Ruby prompts looking around the table. “Sounds like Emma and Killian were DTF—”

“My sister!” David pleads and Ruby gives him a dirty look.

“Does anyone know what happened to Emma and Killian? Or why they aren’t here now?” Ruby asks.

Everyone looks around at each other in puzzled silence. The door opening draws all their attention and they look at it eagerly, wondering if it’s Emma or Killian, they all slump in disappointment at the sight of Will.

“Bloody hell guys,” Will groans, “what a piss poor welcome.”

“Sorry Will,” Snow says, “we just all want to know what happened to Emma and Killian last night. We’re waiting for one of them to turn up.”

Will snorted. “Oh you’ll be waiting a long time. Those two may be eating out today, but they definitely won’t be leaving the bedroom to do it.”

“What?”

“I live with Killian,” he says, “caught Emma sneaking out to the bathroom this morning. Looked right embarrassed.”

“But the last any of these guys knew they weren’t into the set up?” Ruby asks.

“Oh they weren’t, doesn’t mean they weren’t into each other.”

**13 and a half hours ago: Will**

Will was outside having a smoke, leaned up against the wall when the pub door crashed open. Emma and Killian stumbled outside, and Emma quickly pushed Killian up against the wall and crashed her lips into his.

They couldn’t have been more than two metres away from Will and yet they were acting like he wasn’t there at all. Just snogging like their lives depended on it. Rude. He cleared his throat, but they didn’t hear him, urgh, he tried, he’d just have to ignore them.

“Oh Emma,” Killian groaned and Will started to reconsider making his presence known.

Emma dragged herself away from Killian. “Let’s get out of here,” she breathed, “but this has to stay between us.”

Killian kissed her again. “Agreed.” Kiss. “They’d just —” kiss “— be insufferable —” kiss “— think this was more than it is.”

“It’s just me and you, just tonight, right?” Emma said sternly.

“Aye, my place is right around the corner and I need you naked now.”

“Woah, woah, WOAH!” David interrupts Will’s story. “I do not need to hear this.”

“Mate, just be glad you didn’t hear them last night.” Will smirks. “All that grunting and screaming and —”

David stands up dramatically, declaring, “nope” as he flees to the bathrooms.

Will laughs at his friend’s retreating back.

“Was that true?” Snow says, narrowing her eyes, “or were you just taunting David?”

“Well, lady Snow, you’re just going to have to wonder,” Will says, “now how is everyone else today?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks as always to [profdanglais](https://archiveofourown.org/users/profdanglais/pseuds/profdanglais), [devviepuu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/devviepuu/works) and [RecoveringTheSatellites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RecoveringTheSatellites/pseuds/RecoveringTheSatellites) for encouraging me to write this!


End file.
